Shirt Sleeves

I got a really nice new shirt for job interviews. I'm finally broad enough that I can't wear kids' clothes but I'm still short, not a problem with length of the body since it gets tucked in but with my arms a bit more so. This shirt has a  a nice bit inside the sleeve which makes me think I can fold it up. It looks like this- left side folded up, right not obviously  and don't worry I plan to iron it before wearing

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Is that acceptable or some sort of faux pas?

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask but I can't think of anywhere else.
Reyong2010

ranty post about "allies"

I am not a cranky person, but am angry right now. I've been passing for three years and last year moved into an ostensibly trans-friendly house of seven adults, most of whom I've known since before I transitioned. Top floor singles, second floor couples and one 3-year-old. Yesterday, I was sitting in my room with no shirt and the door open when a housemate walked by and scolded me for doing so "because there's a kid in the house." I was in a meditative mood and asked if that was his opinion or the consensus opinion. He answered he didn't know, but thought there should be a consensus opinion before I should be shirtless with open door.

I ended the conversation there, but have progressed to a state of fury. Cisgender people preparing to share their home with a trans person, who wear "legalize trans*" T-shirts and facilitate anti-oppression trainings, should take on the responsibility of defining nudity practices that are true to their claims of gender competence. 
 
Another housemate shocked me earlier when I asked to borrow his SEPTA trailpass by asking if they would give me trouble about it. (trailpasses in Philadelphia are marked 'M' and 'F' to limit sharing). I don't need your concern, I know how much I pass, and the best you can do is to back me up when I don't.

I'm horrified that my self-proclaimed liberal housemates would (1) let me know about their discomfort with my trans body (2) scapegoat a kid (3) put the burden of facilitating consensus on nudity practices on the one trans person (4) tell me he thinks I don't pass! 
 
This is not the best we can do, people!

 
kermit and john

beard cleaning?

hey guys - as this is not an ftm-specific question, just a beard question, i figured i'd post it here.

so... what's the proper way to clean one's beard? Is a beard washed with facewash or soap, like the rest of a person's face? Do people wash their beards with shampoo? 

I've only ever stuck my face in the shower for a second and hoped for the best, but lately it's occured to me that maybe I should be doing more than that. What do you guys, or bearded guys who you know, do, in terms of keeping their beards (and maybe mustaches) clean? 
Freedom
  • tazp

Well meaning people- so what would you do?

I was in this situation the other day and thought I would see how some of you might handle it.
I was at the grocery store, and as I was reaching for a dozen egg this little kid (maybe 4 or so) sitting in the cart says hello. I said hi and moved on down the aisle. I hear the kid asking her mother "is that a boy or a girl". The mother tries to explain that I was a girl, but the kid doesn't quite believe it and is getting quite vocal about the reason why. At this point the mother is apologizing to me and obviously embarrassed by her kid but not sure what to do about it. And neither did I. She was trying to be nice, but was making things worse.

I know I don't pass especially when I talk. I dress very male, and don't have a visable chest thus kids usually assume I am male without much question. Anyhow has anyone had a similar situation or thoughts on how to handle it?


bathtub

Dennis Tam, a sad story about specialists

I'm not sure if this is okay on this comm. Please let me know if it isn't.

While it might not be immediately and/or obviously relevant here, I strongly believe that as a community trans people (particularly FtMs) are starved for art that resonates with their lives.

I'm writing an online novel about growing up. The main characters are FtM.

You can find the first chapter here.
Sea kitten

(no subject)

I was talking to my therapist about this the other day and she said to get some input from other trans-guys.

I have never had straight male friends, apart from 2 guys who I've grown up with and have been friends with for almost 20 years now. The rest of my friends are gay males or women (both straight and lesbian). Whenever I am around straight males, I tend to feel very intimidated. I know it is for a variety of reasons too.

I am stealth in most situations, I have been on T for 15 months almost, but am pre-op. Especially when I am around the straight guys at work I am very concerned about my chest. I doubt they even notice but I notice if it's looking bigger than other days. The guys at work constantly spew homophobic stuff and constantly objectify women. I think especially because at one point in my life I was living as a woman this really bothers me. I can't find my voice to speak up to them because I feel so intimidated by them. They expect me to join in and I just kind of laugh it off.

I don't feel intimidated by straight guys who I don't know, like strangers on the street. I never feel like I'm in danger because very few people know I'm trans. I tend to feel intimidated by guys I know, which I don't understand why. Sometimes I fear that they'll find out, but I don't think that's the main reason.

Does anyone else feel intimidated by straight men and how do you deal with it?
  • rlc217

softball

I used to play softball when I was a kid. I wanted to play Little League, but wasn't allowed to (parents wouldn't let me because I would have had to switch after a certain age or something so they figured it'd be better to play softball and stick with it if I wanted to). I was good at it and enjoyed it ...other than being like WTF when all these girls around me were jumping up and down and yelling softball cheers and I was just sitting on the bench staring at them, because it's fucking softball not cheerleading... haha.

Anyways, I really liked it, it was a big part of my childhood, and I just feel awkward about discussing it because it was SOFTBALL. Are there boys softball leagues that young (I know there are mens' slowpitch leagues for adults)? I don't think there are any around where I live, but if it's not unheard of for boys softball leagues it really wouldn't be a big deal to say I played softball. I feel like if I want to talk about it I have to pretend like I played baseball in Little League, which I guess is OK to do.

I know, not a big deal, just trying to start a topic in this community... and I wonder how many other people feel awkward if they played softball because it's such a typical "girls' sport".

ETA: Mis-stated that last part. I mean about it being awkward as a kid because, at least where I live, it was generally supposed to be a females-only sport. Obviously it's not as awkward when you're an adult playing on a mens' or co-ed team.